Lame Sales Lines That Make You Look Stupid
Apr 30
A friend of mine recently attended a trade show and heard a variety of lame sales lines all intended to get him to make a buying decision. In an email, he suggested that I write a post about lame sales lines people use in order to capture a prospect’s interest and increase their sales.
I thought this would be a fun post to write so here are a dozen lame questions and lines that make sales people look stupid. Warning: there is a serious dose of sarcasm in this post.
“What will it take to earn your business?”
Uh, maybe you could act like a professional and show me how I’m going to benefit from your product or service.
“Is price the only thing holding you back?”
No, but the fact that you think price is the most important issue shows your complete lack of sales ability.
“Here’s the phone, why not call your wife right now and talk to her?”
Seriously?
“Don’t you want to save money?”
No, I’m an idiot. But, please insult my intelligence again by asking another stupid question like this.
“If I could show you (insert benefit), would you be interested?”
How about you ask me a question or two so you can figure out how your product will help me?
“This price won’t last long.”
Really? You can’t come up with anything better than that?
“At this price, we’ll be sold out by the end of the day.”
Sure…and your new shipment arrives tomorrow morning.
“I don’t think we’ll be offering this incentive next week.”
Yeah, I bet it will be better so maybe I’ll wait.
“What do you know about us?”
Didn’t your CEO get sued for something?
“What do I need to do to get you into…”
You’re not “getting” me into anything with that approach.
“Have you heard about us?”
No and do you really think this question is going to make me want to listen to your sales pitch?
“What are your needs?”
Why don’t you ask me some good questions that take a bit of thought and effort and I’ll tell you.
What about you? What lame or cheesy sales lines have you heard? I love to hear them so please feel free to add them in the comments section.
A great post to start the week Kelley, covering most of the classics. One of my personal pet peeves if I’ve been talking to a salesperson and decided against their product/service is when they ask if there is someone else they can talk to… Perhaps another blog could cover asking for the deal, as that is often necessary, yet hard to pull off properly.
Oh yeah…I’ve had that happen to me too. I give people credit for persistence but trying to go around you isn’t usually the best approach. Thanks for your perspective.
Kelley,
Great post! I’ve got one to add:
“I just wanted to follow up with you…”
Oh yeah…I forgot about that one! Thanks for adding it Chris.
Kelley,
Thanks you so much, great way to start the week… I hear at least 5 of these a day and they all make me cringe.
My heart goes out to you Theresa. Having to listen to these everyday must drive you batty. But I bet it gives people who DON’T use them a strong opportunity to stand out.
Had a good chuckle over this one. I heard all of these lines come out of the mouth of the same guy, trying to sell me his superduper SEO and marketing package. As soon as I started reading the post, I could hear his voice – and my thoughts were pretty much the same as yours!
Oh man…I don’t think I would have had the patience to listen to someone who used most of these especially in a single conversation. Thanks for contributing.
Someone went shopping for a car this weekend. Still driving the old clunker, I presume. Engaging follow up from an expert like yourself would be….what she should have asked is…
Can’t believe someone would open a sales conversation with that line (Still driving the old clunker, I presume). Well, actually, I can…
Just had a reminder of one more while outside in the yard – “We’re in the area doing work for your neighbor, and would like to offer you a free quote for …”. This might have worked the first 5 times I heard it, but I hear it now at least once a week either from someone knocking on the door or calling… time to get a new pitch!
Good one Bob!
Heres one:
“Well I kow how you FEEL. Alot of people FELT the same way…..Until they FOUND out that…….”
Ah…the old Feel, Felt, Found method of responding to objections. Thanks for adding it to the list, Greg.
Great point…although, for the betterment of the newbies such as myself, maybe throw in a recommendation on what TO say in lieu of each of these “lame” statements. Thanks!
Good suggestion…I’ll consider it for a future post.
and my #1 lame line pet peeve is…. “I’m calling to touch base” (really no purpose that will help me?)
No kidding…if you want to touch base go play baseball!!
How about,” I’d love to get you a price quote”.
I have read this on email blasts and heard it from salespeople. It sounds at best inapproriate and at worst smarmy. What do you mena “love” . like you love your family, country??
Did you know we could do the same thing, only cheaper?
Great addition Kathleen! Like price is the ONLY thing that will compel people to change suppliers…