The Drawbacks of Social Networking
May 10
About a year ago, I made the decision to become an open networker on LinkedIn after a fellow sales trainer and sales keynote speaker told me that it helped him connect with dozens of decision makers.
I registered for a service that added my name and LinkedIn profile to a database and within hours dozens of people were reaching out to connect.
Woo hoo!
A few months later I had added more than 1000 people to my contact list. Flash forward 10 months and my list of connections has grown to more than 3000 people.
Sounds great, right?
Uh, not so much…
What seemed like a good idea at the time has turned into a complete fiasco.
Since then I have been inundated with messages from people trying to sell me their “stuff” and every single email (with the odd exception) has been spam. What surprises me is the self-righteous attitude people exhibit when I politely request that they stop sending me these messages. Plus, dozens of people are now asking me to connect them with another person in my contact list. Unfortunately, I don’t feel comfortable connecting those people because I don’t really know either of them.
As a result, I am now in the process of deleting people who I don’t actually know from my contact list unless they sent me a personal note to connect (usually from a LinkedIn group, Twitter, my newsletter, etc).
I have long believed that active networking generates new sales leads and can help sales people increase their sales. However, I have quickly—well, obviously not that quickly—realized that there is a difference between real networking and social networking.
Don’t get me wrong.
There is merit in social networking. Lots of it.
In fact, I have some great friends as a result of my social networking efforts. However, these friendships were developed over time; they didn’t happen overnight. And, none of these friends asked for something without first getting to know me—and vice versa.
Social media is being touted as a powerful vehicle to generate new sales leads and opportunities. However, like anything else, you do need to exercise caution before you plunge it. Don’t expect it to cure your sales problems.
Sounds to me like you got caught in the LION trap Kelley. And as you have found out, it really is a trap. LION stands for LinkedIn Open Networker, but also has ties to several platforms that really are just shared lists of people who want to gain lots of connections on LinkedIn fast. Personally I do NOT accept the invitation from anyone that includes LION in their profile-just a sign of someone looking to game the system.
I think your decision to be an open networker is still a good one. The willingness to consider invitations from those that you do not know is still valid. The truth about LinkedIn is that most of the business done there, or in life in general from my experience, happens not between first level connections but rather between those that are your 2nd level connections. Friends of friends, customers that refer you to their peers. That will always generate more opportunities than keeping a close-knit group around you for referrals.
You are providing a helpful lesson for your readers – avoid those services that promise a quick fix for increasing your connections, while remaining open to accept the invitations from those that find you in more “social’ methods through Groups, your blog links etc.
Miles, you’re exactly right…I did get caught in the LION trap. Now I’m working at freeing myself…
I am open to new connections- however if I don’t know the person who invited me, I send a message BEFORE I connect to understand how we can help each other professionally. If I don’t receive a response with a reasonable message around how we can mutually benefit from networking together, then we don’t connect. I HIGHLY recommend you come up with a system that helps you create the type of connection network that you envision, it is a choice- your choice. I also found most people appreciated that I guard my network.
Hilary, good advice. I definitely learned from my mistake and have created a vision of the type of people I want to connect and why. Thanks for sharing.
I getcha, Kelley. What a mess! I do believe social networking IS real networking, but as you say, it takes time to develop a relationship. What you describe sadly happens in “real life,” too, where people want you to marry them (buy their product, introduce them to an influencer, do a joint venture with them, etc.) when you hardly know even their name!
What a great learning experience, Kelley. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Tshombe, it’s like talking to a financial planner who asks you for 10 references before you even make the decision to use his/her services. Sorry dude…it ain’t going to happen!
Hi Kelley I too struggle with this. I often get requests from complete strangers (no previous contact online/offline) who fail to even mention how they know of me. My antenna goes up when they also fail to send me a request other than the generic Let’s Connect that is default for LI.
If you know me from a group, read my comment on a blog, etc. take the 5 seconds to share that info. with me and I will likely give the benefit of the doubt. If someone isn’t going to take 5 seconds with someone they would like to connect with, in this case me, I would be very hesitant connecting them with someone in my network.
If its worthwhile it usually takes some effort!
For me it comes down to old saying: “Quality over quantity”
~Freedom Sentinel
Adam, it’s surprising how many people don’t take the time to create a personal message, isn’t it?